Before we begin, please note that these tricks are not meant to negatively manipulate others, or to lower others’ self-esteem, make them doubt their own reality or anything of the sort. The tips below do not give you complete influence over anyone, they just work on already vulnerable people. Just like the last one in the list, we will demonstrate in this list how you can influence people in simple, but subtle ways, while still being kind and keeping the world a good place.
8. The Almighty Food
Tip: Take advantage of people’s hunger; You will influence their decision making.
Researcher Shai Danziger and his team at the University of Nerev in Israel compared 1000 parole board cases over a ten-month period in 2011. The result was that the closer the judges’ decisions were to the last time they had eaten the nicer they were. Right after breakfast and after right after lunch, the percentage of a successful parole hearing was as high as 65% sliding down from there.
Even after eliminating other factors, the researchers believe that as the judges lose caloric energy, they tend to make quicker decisions. This doesn’t strictly mean that people are more likely to make nicer decisions when they are full, rather they tend to pay more attention to details before making a judgment or decision.
7. Solicitousness (yeah, it’s hard to pronounce)
Tip: If someone resorts to Strategic Incompetence, be overly solicitous and offer to teach them
Strategic Incompetence is when someone is asked to do something unpleasant or something they don’t enjoy, then they claim or pretend that they are really bad at it. Sometimes, they would suggest that it would be better if someone else does it so as not to mess it up and it would be so hard for them to learn how to do it.
Instead of trying to make a person do something for you, you would better act as if you understand the situation and you are trying to help fix it. Since the problem is “they don’t know how to do it”, offer to show them how it’s done. If they keep acting like it’s too difficult, go on telling them how to easily do it step bu step; and you can tell them how it seemed hard for you too at first, and how you eventually got it.
Tip: Be positive and Praise people for who you want them to be, Encouraging them to be the best version of themselves
You shouldn’t actually go far and lie. Don’t praise a person for something they haven’t actually done, or good behavior they don’t actually display. If you overdo it, you may be too obvious and quickly get nowhere fast. This is rather something you have to do in the long run. Overlook negative statements and behavior whenever they are small enough to let slide. On the other hand, praise behaviors that are consciously positive attributes and actions on the part of the person in question.
Don’t expect them to change super quick, but focus on the positive stuff you want to see. It could start small, over time, but if they continually feel reinforced for being kind, punctual, generous, and all those other good things, they will feel more desire to continue doing so, and less desire to act in a negative way.
5. Doing nothing Is Powerful
Tip: At times, Doing Absolutely Nothing Is an Ideal method To Influence Someone
Sometimes, doing nothing is the hardest thing of all, but there are times when it is the best move to make. Now, if someone says or does something grave to you or others, you often should stand up to it. However, if someone is just doing small things that aren’t particularly positive, especially if this is not their regular habit, sometimes just ignoring negativity and not giving them the attention they want, can make a huge difference.
Sometimes people who behave negatively are actually just crying out for attention, and you must not give it to them in this manner. Giving people chances when you shouldn’t, and getting angry or actively engage too much with negativity will often just bring you down, and make the person who is being unkind think they can just keep on behaving the way they have been.
4. Open up First
Tip: If you want to get a person to open up to you, Open up About yourself first.
Getting someone to open up to you can be quite hard because people can be really closed off, even those you thought were more “open”.
While this method requires some give and take, and some vulnerability on your part, Sharing more about yourself is the best trick to get deeper details and understanding about a person’s life. If you are ready to share your toughest and darkest experiences, you will find that others are more inclined to open their vulnerabilities up to you. Emotional stories and experiences can be something that someone can use against you, so by first showing that you trust them, and are willing to put down your shield first, you can make a big difference in getting the most closed people to tell you things about themselves that they wouldn’t tell just anybody.
3. Mimicry Works
Tip: If you Show them that you have similar thinking, They will trust your ideas more
First of all, the most effective way to do this is to be an active listener because it is one of the best ways to influence people. Once they do feel like they are actually being paid attention to, you can use this next trick, which helps connect two humans even further. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to change your thought process for anyone, or pretend it is different just to trick someone. Instead, what we are suggesting is finding common ground in the way someone else thinks, and see how you can highlight this.
Obviously, people tend to trust their own thinking, so they are more likely to trust someone with similar thinking to theirs. So, you can do this by being an active listener, and looking for moments where you can point out how your way of thinking is similar to theirs by naturally engaging in the conversation in a way that emphasizes your similarity with them. This means that your suggestions to them about everything will make more sense to them and will have more influence.
Tip: If you want to disprove something, ask lots of clarifying questions.
A common mistake most people make constantly when trying to argue something with someone is they actually try to argue. This automatically puts most people on the defensive side, and this, in turn, makes them much less likely to critically listen to what you have to say to them. Instead of trying to argue back your point, or disagree overly with what they say, Ask them lots of questions about the point they are making; however try to make it sound like you just want to understand better, and not like you are trying to prove them wrong.
If their position is really not solid, and they are not an entirely stubborn and hopeless person, asking clarifying questions may not have an immediate effect (although it might), but it will make them question their position, and honestly go over how it truly doesn’t make sense, without them feeling like you were trying to attack them in some way.
Tip: Being positive is the most important — people who feel you like them will want to do things for you
The best way you can influence those close to you, or get them to do things for you, is to honestly be their friend. And the most important part of being a friend is simply liking the other person, being honest and being there for them when they need you. Be friends with people you truly enjoy being around.
If a person believes you truly like and care about them, that makes you much more important to them, and it makes them like you more too. This makes them more likely than anything to consider you influential in their life and consider your advice. At the end of the day, If people feel you are more invested in them, they will feel more invested in you, and you have a spiral of friendship, respect, mutual trust and unconditional giving.